Jasraj Hothi

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Catching the bubbles as they rise

Something curious happened yesterday evening.

I was on a video call with a couple of warm acquaintances and found myself saying something out loud that I’d never said before. I shared one of my intentions for the coming decade.

I started out by saying something like “One of the things I want to make happen in my lifetime…”, and then found myself saying “And when I say in my lifetime, I mean over the coming decade…”, before then proceeding to share the intention itself out loud.

Woah.

In that moment right there, I became aware of something I really want which, perhaps, I’ve not been brave enough to admit to myself. I feel like it’s been there for a while but I never really believed it was possible for me.

And it was simply what I spoke out loud, but also the actual moment in and of itself. It felt a little surreal. Like it was someone else who had spoken those words.

And yet I, Jas, had been the one to say them.

It was only after coming off the call, over the course of last night and on my walk this morning, that I really reflected on what had happened and let it sink in. As I’ve said, the words I spoke felt significant because they named one of those things I really want. There’s something powerful about hearing you speak your truth out loud.

It had been there bubbling under the surface, a mish-mash of soup if you like (for some reason ‘primordial soup’ is coming to mind, as if there’s all sorts of chemicals and elements bubbling away inside of me, just waiting to form the bubbles that will eventually simmer to the surface…).

Last night, that’s exactly what happened. Somewhere in the course of our conversation the mixture mixed and the bubble that had been forming materialised and came to the surface.

These gentle moments of aha can feel somewhat random, but I noticed that they tend to happen in moments where I am present. Whether I’m on a walk, in the shower, or immersed in a nourishing conversation like I was last night.

I used to wonder what on earth this intuition thing was. As time goes on I have grown to understand it better… no, scratch that, it feels more like I’m simply noticing it more, and thus experiencing it more fully, as it froths and bubbles up.

And that’s exactly what happened last night. My intuition, always there, always bubbling away in the deep, produced one of those magical bubbles that broke through the surface and gentled pinged inside of me.

Now that this bubble has made itself known to me, no doubt I’ll be carefully examining and drawing from it over the coming days, to see what else this knowledge from the deep might have to tell me.

I’m grateful to have noticed it, and to have caught it as it rose.